The Fatal Believer
by Maze-of-Love
Summary: Kanda’s feelings for Lavi face the hardest test. Tyki/Kanda and Lavi/Kanda.
1. Chapter 1

My first attempt in writing non-con smut!

Also, my first attempt in writing Tyki/Kanda, my second OTP x3

This fic was based off a role-play I've done some time ago, so keep in mind that not everything mentioned here is official. For example, the references to Kanda's lotus. Those were born from my wild imagination 8D And it's implied that Kanda and Lavi have a previous love relationship, too.

This fic has a sequel that I may upload here soon, so look forward for something called "Metamorphoze" xD

And yes, most of my fics' names come from Japanese songs :p

Enjoy and drop me reviews telling me if you're interested in the sequel :3

* * *

"What the **fuck** do you think you're doing??"

"…Yu!"

* * *

Kanda leaned against one of the lift's walls and closed his dark blue eyes. That scene would certainly be engraved on his mind for a very long time, if not forever. The moment when he entered his own room and found Lavi and Allen on his bed. Not that he didn't know about the flirt between his boyfriend and the parasitic-type exorcist. That boy was always clinging to Lavi, looking for any kind of excuse to touch him and he had a morbid pleasure in doing so in front of Kanda. The Japanese boy only refrained from slashing his body to thin sheets of paper because of Lavi. Because, oddly enough, the redhead complained but never did anything to stop the younger boy.

Kanda loved Lavi, that was as sure as the sky being blue or the water being wet. And Lavi loved Kanda or, at least, so he said. But Lavi didn't love only Kanda. The long-haired exorcist came to understand this not too long ago, and that was the only reason why Allen Walker was still allowed to live. He knew that Lavi would be upset if something was to happen to the British boy. And Kanda wanted Lavi to be happy above all things, even if it meant that he himself had to suffer.

The lift stopped at the bottom of the Black Order's mountain and Kanda left the small space, heading for the forest where he trained every day. He liked that place for many reasons, but the main one was because it was always quiet, since no one else except him used to go there. It was perfect for meditating or for those times when he needed to be alone. And that was, definitely, one of those times. Fuck, why did the bean sprout even have to exist? Things were so much better before General Cross' student made his appearance!

Kanda harshly punched the nearest tree and immediately regretted it, because he did so with the same hand that had hit his room's mirror a few minutes ago. It was already healing but that new impact led to a new pain and a new rush of blood. Not that he cared, though. He had been busy cursing Allen ever since he left the room, entered the lift and reached the forest, and, if it was depending on his words, the boy would be a pile of dust by now.

But, all of a sudden, it came to him. Maybe it wasn't Allen's fault. After all, Lavi had always been like that. Before Allen joined the Black Order, the junior Bookman never missed a chance to hit on Lenalee, or any other female exorcists, or random girls they encountered during missions or whoever it was. So maybe…maybe the problem was Kanda himself. He never gave a damn about what other's thought about him, but now he was wondering about what Lavi did. Their personalities were polar opposites, that was for sure. Not only that, but also their personal tastes and points of view were, usually, not similar.

All of those thoughts distracted the Japanese exorcist enough to cause him to have been wandering on the forest for some time now, without a real destination. Sneaking up on Kanda Yu was something like a very impossible mission, even when he was blindfolded he had some kind of ability that allowed him to notice any person who came too close to him. But, this time, when two strong arms closed around his shoulders and chest in a tight embrace, it was already too late. "It looks like this is my lucky day... I came for a simple walk and ended up finding a lost kitty!"

That fake kind tone, covered in layers of sarcasm and arrogance, was immediately recognized by Kanda, as his icy blue eyes widened at the touch. He slowly glanced back, staring deep into Tyki Mikk's golden eyes, and shooting him with one of his coldest glares. "What do you want bastard?"

The Noah chuckled and leaned closer to him, laying his chin on Kanda's right shoulder. "What reason do I have to come here, to the exorcists' home, besides to pay a visit to my rabbit?" He smirked, knowing that simple sentence would be enough to make Kanda snap. He really had come to see Lavi but the fact that he found the raven-haired boy alone, and especially the fact that he seemed to be spaced out to the point of not even being aware of his presence until they were this close, made Tyki think that maybe he could have a different sort of fun, this time.

As expected, Kanda's first reaction was to try to break free, even knowing that the older man was physically stronger than himself. "If you even think of getting closer to Lavi again I will- " Suddenly he gasped and didn't finish his sentence. Something was terribly wrong…While threatening the Noah he had moved one of his hands to his belt, ready to start slashing the other man, but Mugen wasn't there. He froze in place as his mind panicked for a moment, before recalling what happened: he had his shower and got back to his room, but the scene he found there drove him so mad that he immediately turned back and stormed off…without picking up Mugen, that was resting on the desk, besides the hourglass.

Tyki's smirk changed to a devious large grin when he noticed the samurai's body going stiff and he slid one of his hands to the other's waist, just to confirm his suspect. "Oh… So you don't have that annoying sword with you today, good! I don't know what happened for you to separate from it, but I have to be grateful for that."

Kanda inhaled deeply and did his best to calm down. Things weren't looking too good but that wouldn't mean he'd let that Noah bastard do as he wished. He tried to break free again and, seeing as it wasn't working, he bit down hard at one of the other's arms, hoping that would make him loosen the grip. Tyki, although, didn't seem to be very affected by that. Of course, it did hurt, but he had the chance now to take revenge on Kanda for always spoiling his fun with Lavi, and he surely wouldn't miss it. He roughly pushed the smaller boy and tightened one of his hands around his neck, pressing his back against a tree.

The exorcist gasped but ignored the pain of that hit, instead moving both of his hands to grab Tyki's arm and trying to make him let go. "Fucker…I'll kill you!" The Noah's grin was firmly kept in place and he squeezed the other's neck harder, starting to lift him in the air. "And how do you plan on doing that without your beloved Innocence?"

The samurai gasped again, a sharp pain starting to spread on his lungs due to the lack of oxygen. Maybe it wouldn't be a wise thing to do but he had to do something, so he moved his knee up and smacked it hard on the other's chin. Now it was Tyki's turn to yelp in pain, and he glared angrily at Kanda while wiping the blood from his lips with the back of his other hand. "I should have known you'd be troublesome anyway…but you can't do much more than that, exorcist!" He let go of Kanda for a second, just the time to clench his hand in a fist and punch the younger boy. Then he kicked his stomach and, while he was trying to breathe, he moved behind him and smacked his back until he fell.

Once the exorcist was laying down, he tightly grabbed both of his wrists with one hand and pinned him against the ground, leaning down over him to whisper right next to his ear. "I've lost the count to how many times you snatched the rabbit away from me, but today you'll be paying for that…"

Kanda was still trying to recover his breath and having a bigger and heavier person laying on top of him wouldn't let him get away so soon. Still, he jerked as much as he could and tried to get up, ending up hitting his head on the other's already sore chin. That only succeeded in making the Noah more pissed, and he immediately pounded the exorcist's head against the floor over and over again, until he was feeling dizzy and a thread of blood was now running from his forehead and across his cheek. "Son of a… I'll…rip your lungs off…"

"Oh? That is a scary thing to say to someone." Tyki rolled Kanda on the ground, making him lay on his back now and pinning both of his hands above his head and leaned down to lick the blood on his cheek. "You taste good… " Moving his lips to brush against the other's, the Noah then let his tongue make an appearance out of his mouth again, forcing it inside Kanda's.

Much to his surprise the Japanese boy didn't object to that and parted his lips… That was odd enough, Kanda Yu sure as hell wasn't someone to give up that easily. Tyki smelt a trap and his suspects were roughly confirmed when the ebony-haired boy bit down hard on his tongue, only letting go when the metallic taste of blood was soaking both of their mouths. Tyki growled in pain and cursed, pulling away, and that allowed Kanda to kick the Noah's stomach and get up, immediately grabbing a random sharp stick to use as a sword. Okay, it wasn't his beloved Mugen, but it was everything he had at that moment, so it would have to do it.

If someone was watching the scene from afar, they would certainly wonder why Kanda was still there instead of retreating, seeing as he was weaponless. The answer was obvious: the Asian boy was one of the proudest beings on top of the planet and would never resort to something as lowly as running away. Many people already stated mentally that his pride would, one day, lead to his downfall. But, of course, they never said it loud. Everyone at the Order loved their heads and their limbs, and they loved having all of their organs on the correct places.

Tyki got up too, still catching his breath after the kick. Anger was emanating from him in dense waves and it didn't take him more than some seconds to lunge towards the long-haired exorcist. Kanda dodged his charge and counter-attacked, trying to stab the sharp end of the stick on his arm. It did succeed but only because Tyki was a twisted masochist who didn't mind being hurt if that meant he could have his fun later.

He ignored the tree branch ripping his flesh open and reached for Kanda's wrist, grabbing it tightly. The exorcist squirmed and tried to kick him, but he was lucky enough to avoid the hit and trap his leg between his own side and his arm. "I'll make sure that you won't run away again, not until I screw you so bad that you won't be able to walk straight for 8 weeks!" A deviously maniac grin perked his lips and he let go of Kanda's wrist, just to grab his leg with both hands now and bend it so harshly and in such an odd angle that he ended up breaking the bone.

The Japanese gasped and bit his own lower lip hard to avoid screaming in pain. He shut his eyes tightly, and, when he opened them again, he was being pinned down once more, Tyki Mikk laying on top of him with a triumphant smirk. The first thing the Noah did was unbuckle his own belt, pull it out and wrap it around both of Kanda's hands, pinning them above his head again and, this time, tightly tied to the trunk of a nearby old tree.

Next he started unbuttoning the exorcist's white shirt but, seeing as he was jerking violently trying to break free, he opted to move one of his hands up and clench it tightly around the other's chin, while his other hand pressed his body roughly down, to prevent him from moving. "You are in no position to struggle, ponytail brat! You'd better calm down or I'll force you to do so!"

Kanda's reply was a death glare venomous enough to shame any viper, accompanied by a swift spit right in the Noah's face. Tyki shook in rage and grope his jaw so tightly that he didn't break it too probably due to a random miracle. "Little fucker… So you wanna be a bitch till the end, eh? Then suit yourself!" He suddenly let go of Kanda's face and slapped him as hard as he could. Then he leaned down and started biting his neck, his teeth grinding viciously around that pale skin until blood burst out.

Kanda flinched and jerked at his wrists again, desperately trying to loosen the belt imprisoning his hands, but the damned article of clothing didn't move that much. Tyki was pinning his right leg down with his own and his left one was badly broken and would need a few hours to heal. What to do? Curse that Noah, curse him to bloody hell!

The older man had just ripped the younger's shirt open and was grinning maddly at his struggles. He was only starting, though, and he would be sure to cause the exorcist as much pain as he could, both physically and mentally. "Do you even know what your boyfriend and I do when you're not around? We have lots of fun together!" He went silent for a moment, the time to bend down and bite Kanda's side, drawing blood there too. "Where were we? Oh yeah! Not just me, you know. He also loves to have fun with that cheater , Allen Walker. And even with that cute akuma that he brought home from Edo!" A new halt in the speech, this time to rip open Kanda's pants. "Chomesuke, wasn't it? Seriously exorcist, I pity you! That eye patch brat is a whore, he cheats on you with the whole Order!"

That time the break wasn't silent, it was filled with a sarcastic laugh while the Noah picked up the stick Kanda used as a sword a moment ago. "He doesn't even love you! He's a bookman, he only sees you as a pretty, very sexy toy. He'll discard you as soon as he gets tired from you or finds someone more interesting." This said, he suddenly stabbed the sharp stick right at the center of Kanda's tattoo. "You only have four petals left, and you even wasted some of them to save that brat! I really, really pity you exorcist…"

Kanda tilted his head back, feeling an intense pain spreading from his chest to all over his body. He closed his eyes and, for an instant, thought about all Tyki had just said. He already knew all of that. He knew very well how Lavi was. He knew his time was dangerously running out, nine of the thirteen total petals of the lotus had already withered. He also knew that, at least, three of them were used in order to save or heal Lavi. Yeah, he knew all that. But, above all, he knew himself and his main reason to want to live.

An unexpected, small tear rolled down his cheek while he laughed and glanced up at the sky. "I knew you were stupid, bastard, but I could never imagine you were this fucking stupid! What the hell do you know? You, the bean sprout, that akuma, everyone…you are all the same! You are just scum, worthless pieces of trash who gather around Lavi like vultures around a corpse. You use him, you say he has fun fooling around with you, but most of time all you can do is just manipulate his weakness and force him to do whatever pleases you! All of you disgust me so much…"

He shifted slightly and was now staring deeply into Tyki's gold hues. Not glaring. Just staring, with such intensity that it was almost enough to open holes in a solid rock. "Yes, I do love him. It doesn't matter what he does or how bad he hurts me. As long as he wants and needs me by his side, I will be there and I will give the most painful death to anyone that ever dares to upset him. Because I don't need him to love me back. Unlike all of you, I'm not with Lavi to gain something. I'm with him because I want to make him happy. The only thing that I need is to see his smile."

Tyki's body was all frozen by now, his devious grin had faded. What was with that unbelievably cold stare coming from the other boy? And his words…Tyki was expecting him to snap out, to scream, to curse, to try everything he could to deny the Noah's words and try to murder him. But, on the contrary, all the teasing just seemed to make him even the more loyal and faithful to the redhead! The Millennium Earl once told all the Noahs, in one of the meetings to study the exorcists' week spots, that Kanda would most probably be the hardest one to break. Physical pain didn't get to him, and mental contamination would only serve to make him cling tighter to his beliefs. Tyki had just witnessed how right the Duke was, and couldn't help but mentally praise the samurai for that.

He undid his own pants and moved them down, then he tightly grasped Kanda's neck and thrusted inside him without any kind of warning. His bottom entrance felt terribly tight, probably because the boy was so tense, but he didn't care. He pulled his length half way out and barged in again, and kept doing that over and over again.

Kanda's body arched up when the intrusion occurred, making his lower back burn like he was in the very Hell. He squeezed his dark eyes shut and tried to adjust as much as he could, but the Noah's constant and hard thrusts didn't give him the chance to do so.

He knew he was risking pissing the older man to a very high level when he started talking, but he didn't hesitate in taking the risk. All he could do now was endure his penitence, and he soon found out that the best way to ignore the intense pain that was flooding every inch of his body was to focus his mind on something he cherished.

Tyki was alternating his rough thrusts with hard bites, scratches, gropes, anything that would hurt the Japanese boy and leave a bruise on his slender body. He eventually ripped his arms off the belt that was wrapped around them, probably twisting one (or both) his wrists in the process, and pulled the other's body up, just to slam it hard against the ground a few seconds later, as he came with a loud growl.

Panting, he pulled away, as a wave of semen and blood soaked the exorcist's inner thighs. But…shit! Why did he still have the same peaceful expression? The answer didn't take long to rise and Tyki felt his blood boiling when he noticed Kanda was faintly mumbling Lavi's name… He had been thinking about the bookman wannabe all the time while he was being raped!

He slapped him again and got up, dragging the other up by a death grip around his throat. "I bet you're missing the rabbit… I'll make sure you two reunite again." The maniac grin was back on its place as he bent down to pick up Kanda's clothes and started putting them back on, a sudden idea brewing on the Noah's mind.

* * *

Lavi had just given up on looking for Kanda. He and Allen searched for the Japanese boy everywhere but couldn't find him. The redhead sighed and decided to go to his lover's room once again, the older one would have to go back there sooner or later. And then he would have his chance to apologize and cling to him, making sure he wouldn't let go until Kanda had no doubts that he loved him above anyone else.

The red-haired boy reached for the knob and pushed the door open, entering Kanda's room. As soon as he did so, his only visible eye grew impossibly wide and he screamed in real shock. Inside, Kanda was sitting on the floor, unconscious. His right arm was pinned to the wall, having Mugen stabbed on his shoulder, and his body was surrounded by an increasing pool of blood. On the wall, there was a message in bold letters, written with blood:

_Thanks for sharing your boyfriend with me. Unfortunately, it seems like I broke him, hope you don't mind. See you soon, rabbit._


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks everyone, for reading and reviewing!

It makes me happy to know that people like this angsty little thing of mine, even if it's quite old already.

Because I only posted it now but I wrote it back in February :p

Anyway, since everyone was so kind with their words, I must let you all read the fluffy sequel.

It was created as an independent fic called "Metamorphoze", but I'll upload it as a second chapter of "The Fatal Believer" here.

Not that any of this matters 8D;

Thanks again for the support, I hope you have fun with this one as well

* * *

Lavi rushed down the halls, wishing he had Lenalee's Dark Boots, so that he'd be able to reach the medical department faster. Following him was Allen, also running and hoping the redhead wouldn't trip on his way down the stairway and go for a leap of faith. Allen had just been told by one of the nurses that Kanda's condition was finally stable and that his life wasn't in danger anymore. Of course, he had some serious injuries and had lost a large amount of blood, but both the doctor and the nurses were positive that he'd heal fast, as usual.

As soon as the white haired boy heard this, he immediately headed for Lavi's room, more than sure that he'd appreciate the news. And he really did. Lavi suddenly jumped from the chair, making the pile of books on his desk fall down, but he totally ignored it and left the room, starting to run towards the place where Kanda was. Allen barely had the time to blink and, for a second, he wondered if he should pick up the books or just follow Lavi. He decided on the second option, afraid that the junior bookman would end up barging into the infirmary and pissing off the not-so-amiable head nurse…

"Lavi, you don't have to spazz like this! Kanda is okay now and he's not going anywhere!"

"Shut up bean sprout, I wanna see my Yu-chan!"

Allen sighed and gave up. Lavi could be stubborn as hell when he wanted to and wait, did he just call him _that_ name? They had just reached the medical department, so he stopped near the door and let it slide. "Fine, I won't say anything else. I kind of understand how you feel… So go and make sure to cheer Kanda up."

"Wait… you're not coming with me?"

"I don't think he'll be happy to see me after what happened… And you two need to talk about a lot of things without anyone else bothering. So just go, and tell Kanda I'll pay him a visit later." With those words Allen left, waving with one hand as he disappeared down the hall.

Lavi just stood there for the next minutes, his hand over the doorknob and his mind suddenly brewing a lot of ideas. What if Kanda was mad at him? No, scratch that… **Of course** he was, he had reasons to be. The red-haired boy was half-tempted to turn back and let Kanda just rest, instead of bothering him with cheap excuses. But no, he wouldn't do that, he wouldn't run away. The least he could do for the person he loved the most, above anyone else, was apologize. If Kanda decided to punch him or chop his head off as a punishment, he'd abide by it. Taking a deep breath, he finally pushed the door open and entered the small room. No nurses were there, which Lavi considered a good sign, it meant Kanda didn't need constant cares anymore.

"Yu… It's me… Mind if we talk a bit?" There was no answer, so he closed the door and walked closer to the bed. The Japanese boy was probably exhausted and still sleeping, he noticed. The lower half of his body was covered by white sheets and his white shirt was unbuttoned, revealing the bandages wrapped around his right shoulder and upper chest. He also had bandages on his forehead and his body was covered with bruises, scratches and bite marks. His skin was even paler than usual, almost blending with the clothing, and his long ebony hair was spilled over the pillow.

Lavi could do nothing except stare for a moment, now sitting on the edge of the bed, beside the older boy's waist. He looked absolutely perfect even considering how injured he was, he looked almost like a statue. The redhead couldn't say how it happened, because his body moved on its own, and he was now bending down and pressing his lips against Kanda's. They felt cold and Lavi didn't like that, so he moved one hand up to brush against the other's cheek, hoping that would make him feel warmer.

Lavi knew there were no fairy tales, happy endings don't occur very often in the real life. But he couldn't help but smile like a little child when he pulled away and noticed his Sleeping Beauty slowly waking up from his slumber, as if the kiss they just shared had some kind of magic in it… Well, it did. The magic called love. "Good morning, Sunshine… how are you feeling?"

Kanda blinked a couple of times and didn't reply yet. The first thought on his mind was "_Where am I_?". He couldn't feel a dreadful aura so this place wasn't his room, that's for sure. His second thought was "_What the hell happened_?". His body was feeling numb and was hurting all over, so he didn't even attempt to sit up. Instead, he tilted his head aside and blinked again when he noticed someone sitting by his side. "Lavi…?"

"Oh Yu, I'm so glad that you're awake! Ugh, don't scare me like that again, I thought I was gonna have a heart attack when I saw you pinned on the wall like that! So, how are you feeling? Want me to bring you anything? Maybe soba!"

"No… I'm not… hungry." That was all he could mumble for now, feeling his head spinning with all those sudden questions. But it was just like Lavi to talk like that. Kanda closed his eyes for a bit and tried to recall what happened. He saw Lavi and Allen, yes, and then headed for the forest. And there… he encountered him. His body suddenly urged to get up, find Tyki and beat him senseless until he wasn't breathing anymore. Although, the intense pain on his lower back wouldn't allow him to do so anytime soon and his leg seemed to still be broken. All he could do was lay down again and shift on the bed to face the wall now. "Where is the Noah bastard?"

"Yu calm down, you can't go anywhere in that condition!" Lavi panicked for a second, afraid that Kanda would jump off the bed and end up making another pool of blood surround him. He sighed in relief when he noticed the older boy was too tired to do that, though, and fixed the sheets around him. "So it really was Tyki, I knew it… Isn't he ever going to leave us alone? I feel like killing him for doing this to you, I'm so sorry Yu-chan…"

"Why are you apologizing? You're the one who always stops me when I'm about to kill him."

"I know, but… He is human and, like Allen says, he also has friends… Besides, I couldn't stand seeing you as a murderer…"

"Che… whatever."

"But I was apologizing… for another reason and you know it. This all happened because you saw me with Allen, it's all my fault…"

"This only happened because I didn't have Mugen with me, or else I'd have skinned that fucker and fed him to the animals of the forest."

Lavi had to make a small smile and feel comforted by those words. If Kanda was cursing and threatening like that, it could only mean he was recovering. "But Yu…"

The mongrel couldn't finish that sentence because the older boy suddenly sat up, those fast motions obviously causing him pain, but he ignored it and shot Lavi with a glare. "Stop that shit now! I am perfectly fine, I will heal soon and next time I see that bastard I'm gonna beat the fuck out of him!" He had to make a brief pause on his speech because the pain was making it hard to talk and breathe at the same time. But he quickly resumed, and Lavi was far too stunned by that sudden reaction to stop him. "And about the bean sprout… you were the one who told me that you don't love just me, ne? So stop being a damned wimp now! I don't mind if I have to share you with him, if that makes you happy… so let's just- "

Now it was Kanda's turn to be interrupted and he flinched when Lavi literally threw himself on top of him. "Yu… how can you… how can you love me so much?? You almost died because of me and yet…" He sniffled and couldn't stop two large tears from rolling down his cheeks."I'm sorry my precious… I am a bad lover…"

The poor Asian boy was struggling to not yell in pain, since Lavi was hugging him so tightly, but he still found the strength to push the redhead a away and poke his forehead. "Kami… didn't I already tell you to not doubt yourself? You're not a bad lover!"

"But!"

"Say that again and I'll shove Mugen up your ass!"

"…But I'm usually the seme, Yu-chan!" He sniffled again and wiped his tears, a small grin perking his lips.

Kanda rolled his eyes. "I love you just the way you are and I don't want you to change. I'll be with you for as long as you want me to, be sure to remember this."

"Does that mean you'll bear with someone as noisy and clingy as me forever?"

"If I have to."

"Aww, that wasn't sweet!"

"Baka! I was never meant to be sweet in the first place!"

Lavi smiled and watched as Kanda huffed and looked away, folding his arms. He had already witnessed that reaction hundreds of times but never got tired of it. The Japanese boy was so easy to tease that it was almost impossible for the redhead to resist. The way he always ended up snapping and making that small, almost imperceptible pout was just too cute and always made Lavi want to glomp his lover screeching "_aww_".

"Stop staring at me like that, I'm not a goddamned doll." The Asian sighed and laid down on the bed. Geez, Lavi was gazing at him with such intensity that he could tell it even if he was not facing the younger boy.

"That's 'cause you're pretty, Yu. And I wouldn't mind making you my own dollie!"

"I am not pretty."

"You are, too! Even when you are all beaten up like this, you're still so gorgeous that it makes me shiver! I'm really lucky to be your lover…"

"What the hell are you talking about? You're the popular one, you're the one with countless fangirls chasing after you! It should be me saying that."

"I don't know about that…" He sighed and thought for an instant. "Besides, you're the only one who matters to me. And, this time, I really mean it."

Kanda tilted his head slightly and wondered. "What do you mean?"

"You know…" Lavi sighed again and mentally reviewed what he was about to say. It was going to change a substantial part of his life, but he was determined to do it if it meant Kanda would be happier. "I'mma stop being a whore."

"You are not- " Kanda couldn't end his sentence because Lavi softly tapped his lips with his fingers.

"Yes, I am. What else can you call to someone who has the love of the most wonderful person in the world, but still fools around with everyone who shows up? I really do love you, Yu, and I never meant to hurt you, but I was always too weak. They always said _"C'mon Lavi, there's nothing wrong with it and Kanda doesn't need to know"…_ But, one way or another, you always found out, and still you were always waiting for me and always welcomed me with open arms. When I saw you yesterday, bleeding all over and looking dead, I… God, it was like my own heart was ripped from my very chest. I couldn't stop thinking, "_What am I gonna do if he's really dead? What will be of me without my pretty baby_?" I've decided, Yu… You're the most important thing in my life and I'm not gonna lose you! I'm gonna change and I'll be only yours, just like you have always been only mine! So… would you please accept this bookman this last time?"

Kanda blinked a couple of times and didn't reply just yet. Lavi was the one doing all the talk, as usual, but this time he wasn't just talking. It was plain to see that he really did mean all that and the long-haired boy was caught by surprise by those words. The words he always dreamt of hearing. And it wasn't a beautiful dream, his boyfriend had, indeed, said all that, word by word, and was now smiling and waiting for an answer. That smile that was like the sun that always broke Kanda's storm. He forced himself to pull off that momentary daze and sat on the bed once again. Then he opened his arms and smiled back. "Okaeri nasai."

Lavi dived into that warm embrace and brushed his cheek against Kanda's, while gently stroking the other's hair. He still wanted to say so many things but, at the moment, just feeling him would be enough. "I love Yu."

Kanda couldn't help but laugh a bit. Lavi used to use that pun so often, it was tradition by now. But he would make it up to him this time. He pulled a few inches away and leaned his forehead against the other's, while holding his face with both hands and staring into that beautiful emerald green hue. "I Lavi you, too."

"Eh? I think the akuma nurse got you way too high on pain killers Yu-chan! That's not like you!" He grinned and kissed the samurai's nose.

"Why do I even bother about you, usa-gaki?"

"Because you love me?"

"Tch… I guess."

A pout. "You make me feel like a burden!"

"A burden that I want to carry forever."

"Eh, that's quite right… It will be you and me forever, lover! I am yours… and together we shall be this world's brightest rose! You will be the beautiful petals and I, the stem that supports you."

A brief nod and a kiss. "Kitto… Zutto."


End file.
